Dan Kahneman gave a very interesting TED presentation about the differences between our two selves — the experiencing and the remembering selves. I am not sure, but it sounds very much like right and left side of the brain correlations. The right side experiences, the left side remembers. In happiness terms, the experiencing self wants to be happy in our lives. The remembering self wants to be happy with our lives.
One fascinating aspect of this — measures of how happy we are vary between the two. So, for example, a 3 week vacation is much better for the experiencing self than a 2 week vacation (it gets more happy experiences). Yet the remembering self is not likely to get significantly value added, unless something different happens in the extra week (it remembers the vacation as one unit without significant difference between 2 and 3 weeks). Our remembering self tends to dominate our decision making and perceptions of happiness. So after the 3 week vacation, you might not come back any more refreshed. Very interesting.
Kahneman also said that the story telling side of our selves comes from the remembering self. And one of the most important aspects for the remembering self to tell its story — and here is the key point —- is the ending. Sure, the story contains various significant events. But it is the ending that grabs us. So, check this out — we might be happier to endure more pain from a surgical procedure if the procedure ends in a less painful manner. That is what we are likely to remember.
This has major implications for persuasion and learning strategies. For persuasion, this means that we will be far more persuasive if we promote believable and positive endings to our stories (less about the blah blah blah of getting there). From the perspective of learning strategies, it is not likely that we can get engaged in any learning process (bringing in a right side connection), unless we anticipate that it will produce a positive ending (relaxing the left side so that it lets go of the story line about the risks of failure). The remembering side needs to believe before we can get engaged in the hard work of learning. This means that Dan Pink is right. Motivation issues are critical to get us “off the block”.
BTW — this means if you believe in the value of learning, and that building learning capacity is a great story line in itself, you are already there.
And there is more. The importance of endings tells us a lot about why people get trapped in levels 1 and 2 in Dave Logan’s 5 tier paradigm. A shock to self esteem may block the sense that one can find a happy ending. Having lost that, there is no story line possible. And no engagement, just anger (level 1 and 2 primary emotions). Logan’s level 3 (egocentric) is a major step forward — “the hell with you, I can produce my own happy ending!” But it is very hard then to get to level 4 — where the group members revel in happy group endings. Why? It means setting aside the egocentric solution that was so important to get from level 2 to level 3, and it means believing in a system that you cannot control. That requires a hell of a lot of trust.
So, what kinds of endings are most important? Money is important when we don’t have enough of it. It becomes unimportant for the experiential self over a certain amount. The remembering self may still demand it (as part of a story). But Dan Pink argues that more important story endings are about mastery, autonomy, and authenticity.
Here is the link to Dan Kahneman’s presentation. Wow!